somefagonyourdash:

humorking:

SO IM AT THE BUS STATION AND THIS GIRL TAPS MY SHOULDER AND SHES LIKE “are you the guy from tumblr?” AND IM LIKE “i guess” AND SHES LIKE “i follow your blog and my boyfriend *points at him* saw your selfie page and he said he would fuck you” I LAUGHED SO HARD AND SAID “thanks man means a lot” AND HE JUST SAID “no homo cutie” THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER I LOVE YOU GUYS

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overtheunderpass:

there’s this car where i’m from, known pretty well by people as “the duck car” and i finally saw it and it beats every celebrity sighting 

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lesbiancutie:

she wears short skirts i wear nuclear radiation proof body suits 

actuates:

HOW TO PLAY SOCCER IN GYM CLASS:
1. Get the ball
2. Pass it to someone who actually knows how to play
3. Run.